i don't like soup anymore

Just like every other friday... NOT!!!!

I would like to note that the television we have does not work. It only gets sound. And my brother, dad, and the man that constructed the house tried for another hour to fix the satellite dish. And I think the dog tried to help to by chewing the cable, which might have been part of the problem.

I would also like to note that the soup that takes six hours to make is not worth the pain. I might have spent the night writhing in pain. okay maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, though not much. I spent most of the night leaning over my bed at the point of puking into the trashcan I strategically placed there. Apparently, so I am told, the maní (peanuts) in the soup affect some, but not others. Out of the 12 people that ate it, 2 went down. Me and my uncle who is half Spanish, half native american. I guess the gringo blood failed us majorly. (someone please explain to me why they have this tradition if every year someone gets sick. every year. but its still this huge deal! i really don't get it...) Anyhow, I didn’t eat today really. I mostly just laid in my bed all day after we went to milk the cows, and drank whatever remedy my mom gave me. It was probably better that I didn’t ask what each was. Except the glass of straight up lemon juice. I definitely understood what that was (though I’m pretty sure it just made it worse…) Then my family was going to my aunt’s house for dinner at which point my mom convinced me that I would feel better if I went, walked a little, and played some games. Okay, so she pretty much guilt tripped me into going. And everyone ate a new batch of the soup. I didn’t even chance it. I happen to be a math major and know that 2/12 (16.67%) is not very good odds for a soup that I don’t like all that much. They said if I ate more I would feel better. I didn’t believe them. Instead my aunt came up with the idea that I should go for a run to gather energy. Which was a sight to see!  First of all, there aren’t any gringas here- yes I am the only one with blond hair blue eyes- and already I stuck out like a sore thumb before I even started the whole "I like to run thing." In general, when I say hi to all the neighbors, they mostly they just laugh.  But I guess I could do anything and they would just laugh and say, "Oh- la gringita! Mira!" But on top of it all, I didn’t have my running clothes with me and i didn't feel like crossing the bridge to get them. So I borrowed some black leggings, a v-neck shirt, my cousin’s nike high-tops from way back in the day, and tall white socks. Yep, I looked like I came out of an 80s workout video. Then my family decided that it would be fun to run with me. Not sure where they got the idea but I swear I didn’t trick them into anything. They came willingly. And I’m still not sure why because my aunt has probably never run in  her life. And my two cousins, 11 and 12, like to spend the day watching television. But we managed to go 100 yards without stopping- and yes if you were wondering, it was uphill so they’re not that bad. Just mostly out of shape. What a spectacle we were!

I would also like to note that learning card games in Spanish is a lot harder than it appears. I swear they kept inventing new rules!!! And i kept losing. But only corn kernels, nothing more. :)

soups, machetes, empenadas, and life

so i guess i forgot to upload a story yesterday... it might have been because i happened to be hiking a volcanic crater lake. NBD. :)
But the saga continues...

Have you ever spent 6 hours making soup? No, I bet you haven’t. But I have. It was supposed to be the best soup of my life, but honestly it tasted just like every other soup. Except it took forever and a day to make it. I’m pretty sure here they assume that if you put 8 kinds of beans, corn, other exotic bean-like things, and enough grains for a grand total of 12, plus fish you have the best soup ever. I don’t completely agree, but on the bright side? I learned how to make empanadas, with the cool little fringy thing and everything!

Today like every day, I rounded up the cows to milk them, and in the evening I herded the calves so that tomorrow we will have milk. Although today as I was leaving the house, I was reminded “no te olvides el machete!” Never in my life did I think I would ever hear those words… don’t forget your machete. Generally its don’t forget your cell phone, or your lunch, or your wallet. No, here it is more important that you always have your machete. Safety first! (oh wait. we run with machetes in hand...maybe its not so safe...)Yes, I have decided that I’m living a strange vacation.

Today i also learned that cows only like to eat ripe bananas. And that rain brings out the crabs, which to me didn´t make sense because the crabs live in water already...

On another note, I slept talked and walked last night. Now my family thinks I’m really crazy. Well, they already knew i was crazy, i just I think I’ve got them pretty scared now. my mom told me to lock my door tonight. i´m still not sure how that helps, but sometimes i just go with the flow and do it despite my better logic.

I also learned how to make cheese. I swear my family cheats. They use this packet of stuff, add it to the milk. Stir it in an hours, and an hour later- presto! Cheese. No churn, no nada. One packet, a few stirs, and a bit of waiting and you have cheese. Not exactly fair, eh?

And finally, on another machete note, i would like to let you all know for your own safety, that some machetes have a blade on one side. Others have a double sided blade. You should always check before you grab the blade. I still have all ten fingers, but will always have a reminder mark on my hand because of this.

Your very own cattle herder

You are just going to have to use your imagination. And i´ll try and use my descriptive words. So I spend the night at my 11year old cousin´s house and have a blast coloring with her late into the night. (yes, coloring. i like to do it still. i hope that's okay with you. and if you were honest with yourself you would say you love it too :)  

We arrive at my house promptly at 9 to go to the other farm to change out the cows. (of course there was an hour+ long pause here because no one had bothered to milk the cows yet, and we had to go do that…) But clearly I was mistaken in what we were going to do. I actually have no idea what I thought “changing the cows” meant. I've just learned to accept that all days are adventure days here.

First it began with my brother getting kicked by the mule- thankfully he turned around really fast and it hit him in the butt and not somewhere else.

Then I proceeded to mount the same mule (yes, probably a crazy thing to do given the circumstances) on a hand made wooden saddle. (Yes, my butt hurt the next day.)

My cousin hopped on behind me on just a piece of carpet-cloth.

My brother mounted the pregnant mule who was “learning”, whatever that means.

My dad, mom, and farmhand took the car and of course of their machetes. 

We got to the other farm, probably about a mile away and proceeded to herd- I kid you not- 32+ cattle on this giant hill of a farm. 

Side notes: no one bothered to tell me that this is where they put all the brutes, the really mean cows. Consequently: all the guys decided that now was the appropriate time to fight, or to mount the girls, or to alternate between the two; when given a chance, they always took off for the door of the coral and bolted; they hate shots for infections- yes I witnessed this; and machetes are my favorite weapons of choice to scare them into obedience  (or I would just take to the other side of the barbwire fence J ). I also almost got kicked by the mule while i was running away from a charging cow. Apparently though i am faster than my brother (thank you soccer!) and didn't get kicked. 

And after all the work of rounding them up, deciding we were missing some, rounding more up, etc, we take 5 of them. Five. Cinco. Seemingly at random. Why we didn´t just take the first five we saw on the farm is a great question! Would have saved us a whole lot of pain! Anyway, we head back to our other farm, again me on a mule trying to herd them with my brother and my parents followed in the car. In total? 6 hours. And probably some of the funniest hours of my life. Please just picture me in sweat pants, rubber boots with crazy hair, sweating, on a mule and trying to herd cattle. And do yourself a favor and; laugh. Because I know I am. :)

Life on the farm... Day 2

Sunday on the farm... not exactly typical... :)

I was told that 7:30 would be a good time to get up so I could shower and eat before church. I thought I had learned really well about the "Ecuadorian time" when I didn’t leave my room til 8. Once again, however, I was fooled, because no one else was up. But when they did emerge, we ate breakfast, and then embarked on the adventure to milk the cows which is an event that takes practically the whole family to herd them, guard the milk from the dogs, keep the calves away from the moms until we milk them first, and actually doing the milking.  About 10:30 we returned, effectively missing church. But with lots of milk? 

So since we didn´t go to church, we decided to go to town to buy the food for the week that we don’t have on the farm. My brother was in jean shorts and a shirt, so I thought I’d follow suit and put on soccer shorts, shirt, and rainbow sandals. Then my mom emerges with a long white skirt and nice shirt, and nice shoes. I think she was trying to hint that I should probably look a little nicer, but then just ended up deciding that I’m the gringa and everyone’s just going to assume that I don’t know what i´m doing anyway. J

Highlight of the trip? My mom convincing distant relative and old friends that I’m her daughter. One just commented, oh wow! She turned out more like your grandpa (who was almost full-blooded German with blue eyes). I think it was a joke. Maybe.

On another completely random note, I actually don’t know why I was fretting about not having brought face wash! As it turns out, the mud by the waterfall is like a face mask from the spa. What’s more the waterfall is like a massage and the rocks are perfect for ridding my feet of callous. Thank you Mami for teaching me that... Hahaha

Also, I think today found signal up to 30 channels or something on the satellite dish. Not that I’ve ever seen my family watch more than the 5 major ones. 

Your very own farmhand!

Well hello there! I have just gotten back from a week+ of vacations, which I opted to spend at the farm my family owns in the coastal region (the same one I had gone to before…) and it was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made! Soooooo fun. The new plan: I’m going to buy a farm next to theirs (there is one selling for $100,000 dollars right now that has a waterfall and everything though I think the price is a bit steep for me right now). My uncle volunteered to take care of it for me while I’m in the states. And I already found a contractor to build the house with plenty of room for my husband and 5 kids that I’m planning on having. Then I’ll live in the states and vacation in Ecuador. You can all come visit me! It’ll be great! We can go milk the cows, and eat fresh corn on the cob (choclo they call it here, and it is wayyyy better than corn on the cob), and we can make cheese and chocolate and everything.

But anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed myself being a farm hand for the week, and this is the story of my adventures. I tried to write every day about what we did, but somehow I lost a few days somewhere. I’ll post a bit every day for ya’ll to (hopefully) enjoy!

Saturday

When my brother said we were leaving at 7:30, I don’t know why I decided to believe him and get up at 6:45. We didn’t leave til nine.

We almost missed a bus connection because I was dying of hunger and we HAD to stop for food. We lieterally ran after it as it pulled away, with sarcastic shouts of “mira! La gringita!” I literally am always making a scene. I don’t even have to do anything.

My mom made us Agua de Panela for dinner! Super good- like hot tea! However, I’ve come to realize its sugar water. Literally. Panela is the coast’s version of sugar, and she boils the water with the Panela.  I knew there was something fishy about it how good it tasted…

Well, one of the funniest things I have seen thus far is my dad and brother arranging the satellite dish. Yep! We got a tv this week here and a satellite dish. We don’t have Internet (yes I went a whole 8 days without facebook! J), and we only have cell reception in a spot that’s about 2ftx2ft, but now we have a satellite dish. Anyway, so my dad decides the best place to put the dish is in the middle of the road. I guess no one really drives there anyway, but still. So my dad is down by the road, rotating the dish and tilting it in every direction, and my brother’s in the room, shouting how many channels the new position gives. 

One day down... many to go! you'll have to wait until tomorrow!!! :))) Te quiero!