Desert Time

Wow! so its been more than two weeks since i've blogged. Its not that i haven't done anything adventurous, like go to the premiere of Hunger Games and lose my wallet with my credit cards (thankfully i had an Ecuadorian who had international calling and canceled my cards before anything happened), or learn how to dance the salsa (don't even ask me to demonstrate. i'm awful at it!), or try to play soccer with your 6v6 team when we're down a man and the rest of the team is drunk (so it was really more like 2.63v6), or spend the weekend studying the development of pueblos due to the destruction of oil companies like Texaco (incredible trip, horrible stuff that happens! blog post to come on that), or eat dog food (sooooo not my fault. there was a pot of food on the stove and i was hungry so i decided to try it. i asked my brother what it was and all i heard was comida and some exotic name. when i asked if it was for us, he didn't answer, so i tried it. And it actually tasted really good because it consisted of our left over-food from last night and today. Then i found out that it wasn't dinner. it was food for the dogs. good times. never ever going to live that one down...).

But I have to admit, twas a longer two weeks than i expected. I'll be the first to admit i got hit with homesickness. I hadn't felt it at all really until then. My team back home had some spring games, i missed the soccer banquet, i was altogether ready for spring break (and am still waiting actually... :P ), i had a million things to do, and i just flat out missed home. But the greatest thing about it was that in the hardness of it all, i really found God. More than ever before. Through lots of prayers and great conversations with people back home, (and some tears of course), I came to realize a lot of things, though mainly that the best thing to do is when in doubt, take more time to be with God. My quiet times with God are the absolute richest that they have ever been in my life. It was just incredible.  The more time i spent with Him (whether in English or Spanish :P ) the more filled and loved i felt. I just learned so much, and i just understand more now.

I understand more about why we have the church, both as a center of worship and as a center of support. Since i've been here, i have almost always been gone on the weekends and because of that, i haven't really gone to church. And one of the things i miss most is the worship sessions we have. Oh i miss them terribly. But God, being the gracious God that He is, gave me an opportunity to go to church with one of my friends from the university and i was overjoyed worshiping with the college group, the majority of the songs i either knew in spanish or knew the same song in english. It was soooooo filling to be able to worship in the company of other believers!

 I understand why Jesus went to the desert to be with God.  There are times in our life to be in fellowship with others, like the times Jesus was with his disciples. But there are also other times in our life to be just with God. In my desert time, I came to understand the greatness of the desert, the time that you are drier than dry, without anyone else, but are closer than you ever have been to God. There's something about being broken that brings you so much closer to God, and i can tell you that in my worst days when i should have been depressed i felt happier than i ever have been.

I came to identify with a lot of metaphors, this being one of my favorites:
"The land is a land of hills and valleys. It is not all smooth nor all down hill. If life were all one dead level the dull sameness would oppress us; we want the hills and the valleys. The hills collect the rain for a hundred fruitful valleys. Ah, so it is with us! it is the hill difficulty that drives us to the throne of grace and brings down the shower of blessing; the hills, the bleak hills of life that we wonder at and perhaps grumble at, bring down the shower. How many have perished in the wilderness buried under its golden sands, who would have lived and thriven in the hill-country; how many would have been killed by the frost, blighted with the winds, swept desolate of the tree and fruit but for the hill-stern, hard, rugged, so steep to climb. God's hills are a gracious protection for His people against their foes!"
Ï just love the imagery. and everything it says...

Anyway, I'm doing great now! I mean i still miss home, who wouldn't with family and friends and a community like i have? :) But i've come to accept were i am, to cry when needed but to laugh more than i think is possible, to enjoy all the moments -even the ones that every ones says are "terrible" or your "hard days," to depend on your friends because they'll be there for you, to live every day like its an adventure- though here it actually is one so that isn't hard, to sleep a lot because you just feel better (not that i've ever had a problem with the sleeping part :), and to enjoy the little things in life- the flowers blooming, the bird that flies by with really pretty colors in its plumage, your crazy kitty falling asleep in your arms, watching the rain fall on the lake at your school, the days your mom makes you your favorite food (and also the days she remembers you don't like mayonnaise on your vegetables), the reaction your mom has when you scrape your knee playing soccer and she thinks the world is going to end, when you find a dime on the ground and realize you can get 1/5 of the way to school with it, the hugs you get at your internship from the kids, the packages that come in the mail, skype dates (you can sign up for yours today! :), the the roses and chocolate your boyfriend sends you (okay so that's a BIG thing, but i sure enjoyed it :);  AND.. to do the things on your to-do list but remember that God has a different schedule and His is always better, to run towards God, to enjoy His presence, to spend more time with Him than with anything else.

That's all the thoughts i have. Probably way to many to read, so i don't blame you if you didn't read them all. Or if you didn't even make it to this line, though clearly you must have, because you're reading this... :)
TE ECHO DE MENOS!!!!!!!! :P

p.s. i'm going off to my family's farm til after easter so i won't have internet. if you were thinking of trying to contact me or something like that i probably wont get it til the 10th of April.

<3 aL